Time Managment
by 4thespada-ulquiorra
Summary: For Kyoya life is a collection of checks and balances, and profit is everything. But what will he do when "worth" becomes meaningless and there is nothing to gain from profit?  T for language.
1. The Game

**A.N.:**_Hello everybody, and happy fourth!:) Well, technically the fifth, but I haven't slept yet and there are fireworks in my yard, so it's still a holiday. This here is my first Ouran fanfiction, or at least the first chapter. I have the entire thing finished, and I'll post one of probably 4 or 5 chapters daily, assuming my computer doesn't violently explode sometime soon. I should warn you now, this is not a very happy story, though it's got some fairly optimistic scenes. Just don't read it if you're looking to cheer yourself up, unless you like other's pain. Then go right ahead._

**Disclaimer: **_Ouran High School Host Club belongs solely to its creator, or more accurately some Japanese publishing company-but Bisco gets the credit._

Everything went wrong the day of the basketball game.

Tamaki had noticed recently-which meant things had started at least a month back - that Kyoya had been depressed. This wasn't too unusual, they had exams coming up soon, and the host club had been busier than ever with all the school's end of term events. Yet the dark haired boy was clearly losing weight and seemed so preoccupied recently that he rarely even ate unless Tamaki shoved a meal under his nose, and then only reluctantly.

So it was obvious, to Tamaki at least, that something had to be done to lift Kyoya's spirits. Hence why he had suddenly appeared at the Ootori household that Saturday morning, accompanied by the entire host club and carrying a basketball under one arm.

Kyoya did not seem the least bit pleased by either of these things. It was clear he had only just woken up, and apparently did not appreciate six people barging up to his room before breakfast. Tamaki beamed despite this, taking the death glare he was receiving as a form of motivation rather than a threat.

"Kyoya! The weather's great outside, come play a game of-"

He got no further before the door swung shut in his face. Or, rather, on the foot he had placed in the doorway to prevent this exact thing happening. Tamaki might have been proud of his forethought, only it hurt _much_ more than he'd expected.

Ignoring the blond boy as he nursed his foot in the corner, Haruhi moved forward and grabbed hold of the door's edge just as Kyoya went to close it again. Somehow she didn't so much as flinch when his furious glare was directed at her-though behind her all but Mori were cringing with unreserved terror- and met his gaze with her typical calm.

"We'll do something else then. But we're not leaving unless you come with us, Kyoya-senpai." She explained, her forceful behavior causing even Tamaki to stop his whimpering to watch anxiously for the inevitable outburst.

Instead Kyoya merely sighed, glaring at them through a ruffled mask of black hair. "Fine. Let me at least dress first."

And with that he moved to slam the door once more, and this time nobody stopped him. Almost as soon as the Shadow King was out of sight Hikaru and Kaoru appeared at Haruhi's shoulders, their over-dramatized fear forgotten.

"Eh? He never gives in that easily." Hikaru whined, sounding almost disappointed that there had been no more fuss.

"Oh well, he'll put up a fight when we try to make him play." Assured Kaoru, confirming as much.

"Why are we trying to cheer him up with basketball, of all things?" Haruhi wondered, shooting Tamaki an accusatory glance for his idiotic plan. "That's going to make him feel worse."

"I know!" Hunny piped up from his spot atop Mori's shoulders- his inevitable hiding place when faced with Kyoya in a poor mood. "We should give him sweets instead. But he doesn't like sweets… Ooh, then maybe he'll let me have them! Let's buy him some cake!"

"No way." Kaoru said immediately. "It'd be way more fun to make him play basketball."

"No!" Tamaki had stood now, and his voice carried such conviction that even Hikaru and Kaoru found themselves turning to listen. "If Kyo-kun doesn't want to join us, or if he wants to do something else, then we'll agree and do what he asks. So no complaining."

The outburst was so uncharacteristic for their King that the host club found itself nodding collectively, even Haruhi, who rarely agreed with Tamaki. To her relief the others seemed a little unnerved by the fact that the blond boy's determination was for once directed towards helping one of the club's own members. Good. Maybe now they would realize Tamaki was serious in his anxieties, maybe they would see what only the two of them had: something really was wrong with Kyoya.

"Touching. But you do realize I could hear every word you all were saying, don't you?" The voice was followed by the sound of a shutting door, and an almost audible creak as six necks turned slowly to face a stony-eyed Kyoya who, if possible, seemed even bitterer than he had before getting ready.

"Ah, Mother's ready!" Tamaki chirped after a brief awkward silence, clearly deciding it would be best to pretend nothing had happened. "Come on, children, let's go!"

Even for him the happiness was sickeningly over-done, and none of them would have been surprised if Kyoya had suddenly strangled the idiotic blond. Instead, far more frightening, he merely sighed and allowed himself to be pulled down the hallway as if resigned to spending the day in Tamaki's clutches.

"…That was painful to watch." Hikaru said into the silence with an odd mixture of amusement and discomfort in his expression.

"Maybe Kyoya really does want to play with us." Hunny suggested cheerfully, hopping down from Mori's shoulders. "Wait up! Let's go, Takashi, I want to play too!"

"Somehow I don't think that's it." Haruhi murmured, but even so followed the energetic young blond as he hurried in pursuit of the Host Club's kings.

The game- for they did end up playing, in a private court Tamaki had had set up on the rooftop of his manor for no apparent reason- was in itself anticlimactic. Neither Haruhi nor Kyoya actually played, each absorbing themselves in separate sources of study material for the upcoming exams. As for the sport, somehow the twins managed not to cause either themselves or Tamaki serious harm by the time they decided to take a break, which was a bit of an accomplishment.

"Ah, it's no fun with an odd amount of people." Hikaru complained, popping the top of a soda can and casting Kyoya a pointed look. "It's no fair when it's just us."

"Kyoya-senpai~" Kaoru leaned against the arm-rest of the older boy's chair, smiling devilishly. "Come join us."

"No."

"Aw, who cares about studying? We never study and we do fine." Hikaru this time, earning a look of envious disbelief from Tamaki, which he ignored.

"I'm not playing that stupid game."

"You can be on our side."

"Why on Earth would that convince me?"

"You'll be against Milord."

Kyoya cast a glance at Tamaki upon hearing this and found the blond boy in a state of indignation, rambling about how he and Kyoya were the closest of friends and would join forces against the others or some such nonsense. The dark haired man shut his books almost immediately, standing up and adjusting his glasses with an eerie false smile.

"All right, let's play then."

"Eh?" Tamaki froze mid-rant, adapting his characteristic sad-puppy expression. "But mommyyy-"

"Ah ah, whatever Kyo-kun wants, right?" Hikaru retorted, eyes glinting mischievously.

"Uh huh- unless Milord was lying?" Kaoru scolded, with a cruel smile that didn't fit his playful tone at all.

No doubt the host-club's king would have continued his objections for quite some time, if at that moment Mori hadn't caught Haruhi's eye. She motioned once towards the exasperated shadow king, and he nodded once to show he understood before snatching the basketball from Tamaki's arms and immediately taking it into play. Startled, the blond boy called out a few protests as he charged back to the court, and soon the game was once again in full swing.

Haruhi shook her head at the behavior of her friends, turning back to her books as soon as the potential danger had passed. Somehow she had become so used to their antics that she was able to study despite the frequent noise the game generated, though once or twice she was almost hit by the ball. Things passed like this for another half hour before she was startled out of her studying by a shout from Tamaki. The sound contained none of the blond boy's usual mirth, and Haruhi felt her stomach clench with dread before she had even looked up.

Kyoya was doubled over, the basketball he had successfully seized bouncing away listlessly, forgotten. He was shaking, eyes shut tight from pain as he gritted his teeth as if subconsciously trying not to shout, and therefore make his discomfort more obvious. For a moment most everyone stood frozen with shock and bemusement, and Tamaki had ran to his friend's side before the others had so much as registered that something was happening.

"Kyoya, are you okay?" _Of course not._ "Are you hurt?" _Obviously!_ "What happened?" _I don't _know, _now do I?_ "Kyoya!" _I can hear you, damn it!_

None of this came out when the dark-haired boy attempted to respond, however. Instead he was hit with a sudden blast of nausea and retched onto the court _(not in front of them!)_. Tamaki shouted his name again _(what good does that do?) _and reached out to grab hold of his shoulder _(don't touch me!)_.

"Don't!" Tamaki drew back reflexively, stunned by the venom in his friend's voice. Kyoya, pale, shaking, and drenched in sweat, was glaring at him with a look of fury reminiscent of a wounded cat.

"Kyoya…" Perhaps it was because of this, but the blond boy had smoothed his tone, speaking as he would to an injured animal. Suddenly Tamaki was unaware of Kaoru's voice in the background as he shouted into his cell phone for an ambulance, of Haruhi running to comfort a petrified Hunny, of Mori and Hikaru running for help, of everything except the unreal sight of Kyoya Otori, laid raw in the face of some unknown pain. "You need to go to the hospital-" And he tried to take the other boy's arm again.

It seemed Kyoya was as aware of his helpless situation as Tamaki was, and perhaps that's what caused him to flinch away from the other's touch so violently. He stumbled backwards, knowing from the boy's position that he had shoved Tamaki away rather harshly but unsure when exactly he had done that. He could deal with that later, though. He had to stand up straight, somehow pass this off as nothing. But even as he moved to do so a sharp pain shot from his abdomen, and for a moment his vision was black with agony.

Suddenly he was surrounded by the others (_how did they get here so fast?),_ all looming above him _(am I on the ground?)_ and apparently in the midst of a discussion _(I didn't faint did I?). _After a second his head cleared enough for him to register that he was not lying on the ground but half-sitting, keeping himself upright with his elbows. Haruhi, Hunny, Kaoru and Tamaki were crouched around him. The latter seemed to be talking to him, but his words were hard to catch.

"We..…alling an amb…. S-stay wi… God… Ky… Kyoya! Please, answer me, Kyoya… Kyo-kun!" Tamaki's chest was tight with the same panic that cracked his voice. Kyoya seemed to be awake-his eyes were open at least- but he was staring forward as if he couldn't see or hear the blond boy's attempts to reach him.

Then his eyes flickered to catch Tamaki's, and he spoke weakly but sharply. "What do you want, Tamaki?"

The joy that had filled Tamaki at his friend's voice drained away in an instant, for almost immediately afterward the dark haired boy had contorted with agony yet again. He sat up sharply, clutching his stomach, before falling limp so suddenly Tamaki only just managed to catch him before his head hit the concrete. For a moment there was silence except for the wailing of a siren, growing louder and louder by the moment.

"Wh-what's wrong with Kyoya?" Hunny asked at last, giving his stuffed rabbit a firmer-than-usual squeeze.

For once, Tamaki had nothing to say. He glanced helplessly at Haruhi, knowing there was no point, none of them had an explanation for this. The brunette, at least, managed to say, "I don't know."

And there lay the reason for their ever-increasing looks of anxiety. He had ideas every now and then, but it was always Kyoya who made them work and Kyoya who handled the real problems. Tamaki was never any good at that, but he had to at least give everyone something to do, to make them and himself feel as if they were doing _something_. "Kaoru- call Kyoya's dad, tell him to meet us at the hospital. Hunny run down to meet the ambulance, tell them what's happened. Haruhi, go… grab some things to bring to the hospital, there's a library downstairs."

They hurried to follow his instructions with uncharacteristically grim expressions. Nobody questioned the need there may be for books at a hospital. It seemed likely that Kyoya would be there for more than an overnight visit.

**A.N.:** _Well, I'm not sure what to say here… Most of my explanations for why I'm writing this will follow the next chapter. I don't know how well this came out- parts I like, parts I don't, and every time I read through it I edit like a madwoman. Today's a holiday, so I posted it anyway. Wow, I ramble a lot… sorry about that. Reviews are appreciated! Chapter 2 should be up very soon._


	2. Condemned

**A.N.: **_Well, this is a long chapter… I was going to cut it off earlier, but nowhere else seemed a suitable place to stop._

**Disclaimer:**_ As much as I would love to, I don't own Ouran High School Host Club. _

The pain had started about a month ago. Just aches in his stomach that crept their way towards his back, nothing but a little discomfort. The pain only became a problem at night, and sometimes when he ate, but even then it was bearable and besides- it wasn't a constant companion. Sometimes he'd gone days without feeling so much as a twinge, and he'd learned to ignore it. If things got worse he would go to a doctor- _after_ his exams.

But then he fainted on the goddamn roof.

The fainting was not the problem-though he certainly wasn't glad for it- so much as the fact that he had acted like he had in front of his friends. It wasn't his fault of course, nobody could keep up a mask like his when they could barely move from pain. But he hadn't needed to behave like that to Tamaki-not only was it rude (which wasn't such a problem) but it had been… primal. No member of the Otori household should act like an animal, regardless of circumstance.

Which was precisely why he didn't want to open his eyes and really wake up. His friends would have taken him to the hospital and either they or the staff would have contacted his father, though he doubted Yoshio would be there now. Perhaps late that night, or if his son was still here next Sunday, but if it were working hours… no, Kyoya would have to wait for business, no doubt.

Another twinge in his stomach. Kyoya gasped from the pain, shooting up to a sitting position involuntarily, wrapping his arms around his stomach and waiting for it to fade. When it did he became conscious of his friends-whom he'd no doubt just terrified by waking in the way he had- swarming to his bedside. Tamaki's hand was on his shoulder again, and somehow that only irritated him more.

"I'm fine. Let go." Somehow he managed to speak in almost his usual tone, doing his best to mend his behavior.

Tamaki seemed like he wanted to refuse, but something in Kyoya's expression must have told him that would be a bad idea. "You're not fine. You're… why didn't you tell us you were sick?" There it was again, that choking tone, like he was about to cry over something this stupid. The blond boy was always so over-dramatic.

"I didn't know I was." Kyoya retorted honestly, seeing his glasses on the bedside table and putting them on, feeling a little more confident now that he could see properly. A quick glance around the room revealed the entire host club plus his sister, who was dozing in a plastic chair, all in wrinkled clothing. "How long have you been here?"

"Well, you've been out for about twelve hours." Hunny, still clutching that toy rabbit of his, but with a solemn expression that prevented him from looking like a child. "You scared us, Kyo-chan!"

"We called your father." Kaoru now, shooting an anxious glance at his twin, who was looking absolutely murderous for some reason. "He told us to call Fuyumi instead."

"What did you say to him?"

Neither of the twins seemed at all abashed that Kyoya had caught on so quickly- apparently they had no problems with him knowing they'd been rude to his father. "That he was a selfish, greedy old jerk who should give a bigger damn about his son than about some paperwork." Hikaru quoted.

"He didn't like that."

Kyoya sighed and shook his head at the twins' stupidity, lying down once more-he told himself he wasn't tired already, this was just more comfortable, that's all- and waiting to see if anybody else had a comment to make. Unfortunately they were all as solemn as he'd ever seen them, which wasn't exactly reassuring.

"What did the doctors say then?" He wondered at last in a forcefully casual tone.

"They said they're getting the results of a scan they took of your stomach, a kitten scan or something…" Tamaki trailed off, frowning as he struggled to remember.

"A CAT scan."

"Ah, right! One of those."

Kyoya shook his head, the atmosphere of the room too heavy for him to laugh at his friend's typical idiocy. Good Lord, this was depressing even for him. "…What happened after I fainted?"

This time Haruhi spoke up, cutting off Tamaki before he could begin an over-emotional rant. "The ambulance came and took you to the hospital. Tamaki and I rode with you, but everybody else took one of Tamaki's cars. On the way here the paramedics asked us questions about you, and as soon as we got here you were rushed off to the emergency ward. We weren't allowed to see you for an hour, and Hikaru tried calling your father while we waited. As soon as we could we all came in here, and we've taken turns going to get food from the hospital cafeteria. Your sister showed up two hours ago, she traveled all day to get here."

Something about the way Haruhi spoke, always as if she were reciting from a textbook, made the situation seem far less personal than it was. "You" may as well have been anybody, and Kyoya was glad Tamaki hadn't attempted the same tale. He probably wouldn't have been able to stomach the melodrama.

Before any of them could say anything else the door swung open, revealing a young doctor Kyoya recognized from his frequent tours of the family's hospital. She glanced in his direction and brightened considerably upon realizing he was conscious.

"Master Otori, you're awake! How are you feeling?" A stupid question, in Kyoya's opinion, but the woman didn't appear to want an answer anyway. "I'd like to ask you some questions before I go over the results of the CAT scan. Are you all the young master's friends?"

They replied that yes, they were, Haruhi clamping a hand over Tamaki's mouth before he could begin one of his "host club family" speeches. The doctor nodded to herself and adapted a condescending look of apologetic reprimand. "Right, well, visiting hours ended a long time ago… I'm afraid now that Master Otori is awake I have to ask you to leave."

"Ah, that's unfortunate. I would much rather they stay. Of course I can't demand that you allow that…" Kyoya cut in, smiling falsely. "But I'm sure my family could always find another doctor who will be more lenient."

The woman merely stared at him for a moment, clearly taken aback. "O-oh… Well, if you want them to stay, I suppose they may as long as they don't cause you any stress- if I think they're a danger to your health they'll have to leave."

"That's fine, thank you." For some reason his smile now reassured the doctor, though a moment earlier it had unsettled her. Such an idiot, to interpret his behavior whichever way suited her.

The doctor took a seat by his bedside and began to dive into her interrogation without a word of preamble. Had he experienced any pain in his stomach prior to that morning? _Yes, but not often and nothing so sharp._ Did he feel frequent aches in his lower back? _Not constantly, but often._ Any nausea? _Not until this morning._ Was he having trouble sleeping? _He always did._ Was he constantly tired or low on energy? _Well of course, but if he was having trouble sleeping why should that be a surprise?_ Loss of appetite? _Only when his stomach hurt._ Was he feeling depressed? _No more than usual._

This went on for nearly five minutes, with the doctor stopping every now and then to jot something down on her clipboard. And with each question answered in the affirmative Kyoya could see his friends becoming more and more anxious, and Tamaki's damn puppy-dog eyes were fixed on him as if to say "Why didn't you get help earlier?" Even the doctor seemed to find it odd that he hadn't been at all concerned, but why should he have been? The only unusual thing he'd experienced was the pain in his stomach, and he'd already told them that that was too infrequent to bother him.

At last the doctor stood up, her expression much more sober than it had been when she began. "I'd like to do a few more tests, and in the mean time… You should call your father, just in case."

Yoshio Otori arrived at his son's hospital room just after 3 in the morning.

Whereas Hunny seemed constantly on the verge of falling asleep, Fuyumi was now wide awake and currently joining forces with Tamaki to pamper Kyoya in the most infuriating ways possible. The twins seemed to find this funny, and were continually offering their "advice", with the result that by the time Kyoya's father came into the room things were borderline chaotic.

"Stop feeding them such idiotic ideas, you two."

"Waah! Kyoya-senpai's scary~"

"Fuyumi, help me organize Kyo-kun's notes!"

"Don't touch my books, Tamaki."

"All right Tama, I'll help!"

"I told you _no_! I can manage that on my ow-"

Kyoya froze mid-sentence as his father appeared in the doorway, trim and proper in a freshly ironed business suit, his hair combed back as neatly as ever. In contrast the entire host club was disheveled and in obvious need of sleep. Kyoya saw his father scrutinizing his appearance with obvious distaste and quickly adjusted his glasses back into place, taking on his usual mask almost instinctively.

"Good evening, father."

"Kyoya, even though you are ill I still expect you to behave in a manner befitting a child of the Otori household. Especially in front of our staff." Yoshio demanded coldly, forgoing a welcome entirely.

"Of course, father. My apologies." Kyoya bowed his head apologetically and attempted to meet the twins' eyes, knowing they were bound to say something hostile if he didn't warn them otherwise.

Unfortunately they didn't notice, as both were too busy glaring unreservedly at Yoshio. Even Haruhi was frowning at his behavior, and Tamaki alone had the sense (Tamaki? Sense? That was unusual) to bow and greet the older businessman politely, receiving only a curt nod in response.

"The doctors informed me that you collapsed on the roof of the Suoh family household. I hope, Kyoya, that you were not in the company of the chairman at the time." Yoshio scolded as he crossed the room to stand nearer his son's bedside.

"Only the host club was present at the time, father. Not even a servant." The dark haired boy assured calmly, wondering as he did so why he wasn't angrier at his father's indifference.

"Good. I hope you won't let this affect your studies, Kyoya. You'll already be missing school tomorrow, I don't want to risk you falling behind." The older man added, looking at Kyoya as if annoyed that he had caused such a fuss.

"Of course it won't."

"Kyoya's been studying hard for a month. He's been so stressed he didn't notice that he was sick because of it. Don't you think he needs to rest?" Haruhi-it _had_ to have been Haruhi to speak up. The only one in the room Yoshio could offend without risking any harm to his business.

No doubt similar thoughts were flitting through the man's mind as he looked Haruhi up and down, taking in her ratty shorts and too-big T-shirt with obvious disdain. "Kyoya is a part of the Otori family, he can't afford to fall short academically."

"He can't afford to exhaust himself either."

"This is business, young lady, something I daresay you know nothing about."

"No, this is family, and something tells me I know more about that than you do."

"Haruhi, that's enough." Kyoya cut in quickly, waiting for the inevitable explosion. Before his father could retort, however, a knock on the door distracted his attention, which served the double purpose of preventing him from seeing Hikaru and Kaoru giving Haruhi the thumbs up.

The doctor had returned, no doubt after being informed of Yoshio's arrival. She gave them all a hasty greeting and flipped through a few pages on her clipboard.

"We have the results of your tests, Master Otori." She began in a tone that invoked no confidence.

Tamaki blanched when he caught sight of her expression, but Kyoya himself merely sat up straighter and nodded. "Go on."

The doctor glanced at the host club, all of whom had converged around his bedside protectively. Ironically, his father was the only one who seemed uninterested in being beside him. "Perhaps just the family…"

"They're staying." Kyoya said firmly.

Another quick look, this time for his father. "That may be best. The first CAT scan revealed-"

"I have no desire to hear _how_ you figured out what was wrong. Just tell me." He cut in, wondering why he was so calm when his friends were all pale with dread. No doubt one of them would have a panic attack if they had to sit through a list of medical terms before the doctor got to her point.

The doctor nodded, thankfully not arguing the point. "Of course. You have… a case of metastasized pancreatic cancer."

Kyoya froze, staring with surprise rather than disbelief at the doctor, one thought alone running through his head as she went on to describe the finer points of the disease. _I shouldn't have let them stay. _

The woman was rattling off various statistics and facts, apparently unaware that her patient was numb to her words. He wished she would stop- the others would be unbearable enough, and only more so the more they heard. Already they looked petrified, Tamaki's hand squeezing his shoulder so tightly it hurt, Hunny no doubt either on the verge of tears or past that point- Kyoya couldn't turn his head to look. He could only stare at this woman-wondering if an ounce of emotion showed in his expression- as she detailed his chances for survival.

"This type of cancer is very rare for children your age, which may mean you have a better chance of fighting it. In general, however, 98% percent of cases that have reached this stage of the disease without treatment don't survive for five years. The average… is between six and ten months. With treatment some patients live for up to another five weeks, but there is no cure, just-"

"Stop." Kyoya snapped with a sudden harshness. "I don't want to hear it. Leave, now."

He was sure his father was looking at him now, annoyed that he would act so crassly to one of their employees, but Kyoya was well beyond caring. He continued to glare at the doctor -who thankfully didn't seem the least bit offended- until she nodded and left the room, stopping first to request Yoshio accompany her. He agreed without so much as a glance for his son and followed her out the door.

"K-Kyoya…" One of them (Kyoya didn't turn to check) began, choking on the word and falling silent, at an apparent loss for words.

"Don't. All of you, leave. You too, Fuyumi, go." He demanded bluntly, still refusing to look at any of his friends.

"Kyoya, we should-"

"Just go!"

Nobody moved. Kyoya counted to five before turning to face his friends, fighting hard to keep himself in control. They were all looking at him, none of them with pity-thank God they knew him better than to do that- but with worry and determination. He'd been right in assuming Hunny was crying, but he wasn't alone. All of them was at least teary-eyed, and he hated them for it. There was no use in crying, or trying to comfort him- dammit, _why_ had he let them stay? Things would have been bad enough without them knowing, and now…

"Go, all of you. It's late anyway, go home and sleep." Kyoya ordered in a controlled but nonetheless sharp voice.

"No." Tamaki, who looked so upset it may as well have been _him_ diagnosed with cancer, retorted. "I-I'm not leaving you alone, Kyo-kun."

The young Otori clenched his teeth and took a deep breath. It was hard not to lose his temper with his friends at the best of times, and nearly impossible when he was already so… what? Angry? Frustrated? Depressed? He had no idea. "Well, I want to _be_ alone, so go."

None of them seemed to have the slightest intention of doing so, but what did they think they could do by staying? Kyoya hated it when people tried to comfort him or were on their toes around him, as if he were some fragile child-something that usually happened out of pity for being the third son, not…. Dammit, they all were looking more upset by this than he was, and he was the one who'd just been told he would probably be dead in under a year!

He opened his mouth once more, but he was cut off by Takashi of all people. "You shouldn't be alone right now." He said simply, his expression seemingly unchanged yet somehow conveying as much worry as the other's tears did.

"And what good could any of you do by staying?" Kyoya snapped in return. "Trying to comfort me won't change the fact that I'm dying!"

He realized his hands were shaking uncontrollably, and took a deep breath in an effort to calm down. He shouldn't have said anything, he'd only succeeded in making things worse, in frightening _himself_, goddamn it.

"M-maybe she made a mistake, what if-" Tamaki, ever the optimist, began with a poor attempt at a cheerful attitude.

"My family wouldn't hire a doctor who was too stupid to make sure of a diagnosis, Tamaki." Kyoya growled. "Go talk to her to make sure, so long as you leave! I want to be left alone, I want…"

His voice broke, and he was suddenly conscious of tears in his eyes. He drew his knees towards his chest and hid his face in his hands, almost as if he could hide this sign of weakness from his friends. Somebody, he didn't look to find out who, came over and hugged him tightly, but he didn't move. _Just leave, all of you. There's no reason to stay-leave me alone._

The only sounds for the next few minutes were the muffled crying of whoever was holding him and Kyoya's deep breathing, which was doing nothing to relax his mood or stop his body from trembling. Then footsteps, the creaking of a door, a prolonged pause, and a slam. Kyoya counted to ten before raising his head to find the room empty of all save his sister. She was holding him with surprising strength for such a graceful girl, her face buried in his shoulder- which was already wet with her tears.

Now that the others had left, Kyoya found he was glad for Fuyumi's presence. Fuyumi, who had known him all his life. Fuyumi, who never cared about appearances. Fuyumi, who had always given a damn about him and never let him push her away.

At last she lifted her head, though her arms remained wrapped around him. "Father isn't here. You don't have to be so strong all the time, Kyo-kun." She whispered.

"I don't have to be weak either. I shouldn't have acted like that in front of them." God, she looked miserable. He smiled at her, the fake smile that won him countless false friendships and customers at the club. It never worked with Fuyumi though, and he knew when she returned the gesture that hers was just as false.

She studied his face for a moment before her head drooped. "You're so stubborn, Kyoya. You won't take treatment, will you?"

"I'm not spending all my time in a hospital just for another few weeks, Fuyumi. There's nothing to gain from it."

"This isn't business, you know, Kyo-kun. You can try acting based on what you feel for once." She scolded, looking so much like Tamaki when he was pouting that Kyoya had a bizarre urge to laugh. "How _are_ you feeling?"

How was he feeling? Not scared, which was how he was supposed to feel, and not relaxed, which was how he would have liked to feel. "I don't know."

"Father is so cruel!" Fuyumi exclaimed suddenly, releasing the younger boy and standing up straight with a look of hatred unbecoming of her kind face. "To worry about your schooling, then not even stay… I can't believe he would do something like that."

Kyoya sighed and got to his feet, gripping his sister's shoulders sternly. "He can't act any differently around the sons of such important families, you know that. Besides, father has never been compassionate." Why did nobody understand this? He didn't like certain aspects of his father's behavior, but he didn't blame him for them either.

"You're more important than business, Kyo-kun."

Before he could respond-whether to agree or not he didn't know- there was a knock on the door, followed by the doctor's re-entrance. "Miss Otori? Your father says he would like you to speak with him." Her tone was apologetic, either she regretted interrupting them or she thought Kyoya might resent his father's obvious efforts to avoid him.

"Go. Tell the others to go home, I'm going to get some sleep and they should too." The dark haired boy released Fuyumi's shoulders and smiled at her, this time genuinely. "Thank you for staying, sister."

"I'll come back in the morning, Kyo-kun." She promised, hugging him once more before exiting with the doctor.

And then he was alone. Kyoya glanced once at the bed and decided against lying down. He had no intention of sleeping, and began to pace the room slowly and deliberately. There was one simple fact at the root of his thoughts: he was dying. Six months, ten, maybe a year… or even less. As soon as a month from now he might collapse from a pain in his stomach, or go to sleep and simply not wake up.

That was a terrifying thought, even for Kyoya. To die without any warning in the middle of the night, possibly without even knowing anything had happened, might sound preferable to a drawn out death. But damn it he wanted to _know_. If he could tell when he was about to die he could use that time, even if it was just to… to what, say goodbye? He wasn't so sentimental: there was nothing to gain, even emotionally, from dramatic farewells. Tamaki, no doubt, would disagree. He'd insist they spend every moment of time available taking any number of eccentric trips or shopping for "commoner goods". He wouldn't see that Kyoya would have to spend his time in the most profitable way possible, to get everything he could out of the next few months. Topping his class wasn't good enough, he would have to procure a few investments with his classmates….

But there was no point. Kyoya froze, feeling as if he'd been struck. _There was no point._ He was dying, would be dead long before his father retired and probably before he graduated high school. No matter what he did, how hard he worked, _there was no point._ Everything he had been struggling for since he was a toddler meant nothing. This didn't depress him, nor was he even sad.

He was _angry_.

Without thinking Kyoya snatched a glass of water off the bedside table and chucked it at the far wall. It shattered, sending shards of glass and water flying through the air. His hand and cheek stung, there was a thin line of red appearing on both, but he hardly noticed. Everything he'd done, useless. He was breathing hard, and couldn't decide whether he wanted to throw something else or cry.

_I don't want to die._

He leaned against the wall to keep on his feet, suddenly shaking so badly his legs nearly gave out. He was mortified that he'd lost his temper like that, but he was so _furious_. Befriending all those idiots at school, losing to Tamaki in everything, and sleeping only a few hours so he could study as much as possible would all lead to nothing.

_I don't want to die!_

There was no longer any possibility of his achieving a position in his family's company, not even a minor one. Perhaps his older brothers would come down soon to offer some rehearsed condolence, no doubt hiding relief that their youngest brother was no longer a threat.

_I don't want to just disappear._

His stomach chose that moment to flare with pain again, and he gasped but forced himself to stay upright, grimacing not only from the agony but the irony as well. No, his body was going to wear out long before the Otori household was in need of its heir. He would never marry or have a family nor watch his friends do so, never see if that idiot Tamaki ever found a wife or if Haruhi ever became a lawyer. If Hikaru and Kaoru would ever branch out, if Hunny ever matured or if Mori did the opposite…

Stop. His emotions were running away with him again, and Kyoya was never the person to be at the beck and call of such things. This was, after all, a drastic form of time management. He was dying, not dead, and he had a number of things to accomplish before that happened.

**A.N.:**_ Okay, now I have a bit of babbling to do… The entire reason I wrote this story was because of what I described in those last few paragraphs. I wanted to write about what Kyoya would do if he was forced to think about all his efforts to outshine his brothers becoming useless- and what he would do with his life after that. I think the most important line for that is "_I don't want to just disappear"._ This isn't him feeling sorry for himself-more like a goal. I think Kyoya would want to leave something behind. And I'll show what he does with that in the next chapter.:)_

_Ps-I love Fuyumi, so I put her in here. I'm glad I did, even if she seems a bit out of place at first._


	3. Adjusting

**A.N.:**_ Hello everybody. It took me a little while to post, but here's chapter 3 out of 4! Thanks to everyone who's reviewed-here's an internet cookie for you *hands out said cookies.* _

**Disclaimer:**_ I don't own Ouran High School Host Club-which might be fortunate because I'm a tad evil, and stuff like this would actually happen to them. ^^"_

Kyoya remained in the hospital for the next two days ("Just in case"), before finally being allowed to return home Wednesday morning. The stay had been uneventful, but at least when his friends had come by after school Haruhi had had the sense to bring his homework for him. Kyoya had grappled with the idea of telling the doctors only to allow family to visit him, but ultimately he had decided against it. Not only did he need his assignments, but Tamaki would have thrown a fit if he'd been ignored for any longer. By some unspoken agreement they hadn't mentioned his illness beyond Kyoya's warning them not to let any of their classmates know.

The car that brought him home was full of his personal guards- none of his family could spare the time to come. This wouldn't have been an issue at all if Tachibana and the others weren't so obviously trying not to be over-emotional, which made for a very uncomfortable trip. Surprisingly his eldest brother met them at the manor, but only for the one day, he explained, and he was using the opportunity to go over a few things with father.

His little brother being diagnosed with cancer was an "opportunity". Kyoya couldn't help but find that not only ironic but amusing-he supposed it was for this reason that the man had shown up at all. His father was just as dispassionate ("This is your third day missing school, Kyoya, I won't tolerate you falling behind"), and as Fuyumi had reluctantly returned home to her family Kyoya's welcome home was hardly what one would call "comforting". His family avoided him for work- not a surprise, nor a concern- and he avoided the overly-emotional servants-annoying, and precisely why he wanted to keep this a secret from the other students.

The next day at school Kyoya found himself automatically greeting the usual repertoire of influential sons and daughters, remembering only as he took his usual seat beside Tamaki that this wasn't necessary anymore. Still, it might make people suspicious if he suddenly threw aside his usual façade, so for the time being he might as well keep it up.

"Kyo-kun! Daddy's had a great idea!" Tamaki exclaimed, sitting not in his own desk but atop Kyoya's. "After exams this week we should go to Kyoto!"

"You do remember that Kyoto is not "Japan's wonderland", correct?" The other reminded, not even glancing up as he laid out his study materials on his desk.

"Ah, right…" For a moment he seemed daunted, but then that idiotic grin had returned. "Then we'll go to the real wonderland! I bet Haruhi's never been to an amusement park. I wonder if she's afraid of roller coasters…"

A dreamy look passed over his face, thoughts no doubt filled with fantasies of the young girl and himself sharing cotton candy or going through the tunnel of love or some other nonsense. No doubt the entire trip would involve various attempts at romance with Haruhi- whether these attempts were initiated by the twins or by Tamaki would be anybody's guess- yet Kyoya found himself actually considering the idea.

He had no interests in amusement parks, but if he found a way to incorporate the host club into the venture they could no doubt make quite a bit of money. There would also be a few good photo opportunities, and the club wouldn't even have to worry about the expense of cosplay-the park would be enough to keep the customers visually entertained. And, almost as importantly, he could see why Tamaki was doing this. Kyoya didn't doubt there would be another invitation, and another weak excuse behind it, as soon as this potential trip was over.

"…Thank you, Tama." He said at last, cutting off a stream of Haruhi-related babbling he'd tuned out entirely.

The host King froze mid sentence, blinking in surprise. "Huh? For what, Kyo-kun?"

"You've come up with a good idea for once, that's all." He couldn't resist smiling at the bewilderment, whether feigned or not, in his friend's expression, and rather than give him a chance to continue the conversation he turned back to his earlier task.

_You really are an idiot, Tamaki._

The exam results came out a week after the testing was complete, and most of the school was stunned by the results.

The top of class 2-A had been Tamaki Souh.

It wasn't just the fact that Tamaki had scored higher than Kyoya, but that nearly everyone else had too. Nobody could believe what they were seeing at first, and even the teachers were convinced that they must have made a mistake in their grading. Eventually one of them called Kyoya in for a conference, showing him his test and asking if somebody had changed the names as some form of prank.

"No, that's mine." He hadn't so much as glanced at the paper, and the teacher hesitated, the offending test still held out for him to take. "I wasn't paying attention during the examination." The same answer he'd given to countless peers already.

"Well, there is always the possibility of retaking the exam-"

"No, thank you." Kyoya said firmly. "If that is all?"

The man seemed flabbergasted, his horn-rimmed glasses had fallen askew without his noticing. "Well… all right, you may go. You know we will have to call your father?"

"Of course. Goodbye, sensei, I will see you tomorrow."

And he exited the room, well aware that his father would answer any call from the school. Surprisingly he didn't dread the meeting that was bound to take place soon- he had made his decision, and Yoshio could accept it or not.

The latter seemed the most likely from the moment he returned home that afternoon. The older man was waiting for him in the entry hall, which had never happened before. He was also showing a definable emotion for once, though Kyoya wished he would have expressed another one- anger wasn't flattering on anybody.

"I received a call from Yuzuru today. He expressed concern for your health, and told me that you received one of the lowest marks on the end of semester exams for your grade level. He seemed to think you might be depressed." His said in a voice strained by suppressed fury. "What happened?"

"…I lost focus during the test." Kyoya responded, careful to keep his expression neutral.

"Yet you refuse to re-take it." Yoshio countered, glaring as if expecting his son to deny the fact. "I told you there was no excuse for falling behind in your studies. You cannot damage the Otori name like this just because you're-"

"Dying?" The dark haired boy suppressed a smile as Yoshio blanched, apparently taken aback. "You taught me, father, to never do anything unless there was profit in it for me, to weigh the consequences of an action before performing it, and when it comes down to it there is no longer anything to gain out of excelling in my classes. I can benefit from allowing Tamaki to succeed, however. As the top student he stands a higher chance of being accepted by the Souh Pesident."

"And what good does that do _you_?" Yoshi demanded after seething in silence for a moment, looking for all the world like he was about to hit Kyoya.

_Simple, father. Because he's my friend, and for once I can give_ him_ something._ "Tamaki organized a trip to a theme park he enjoyed two weeks ago, and by bringing the host club's customers the club was able to earn a profit." He explained methodically, finding he enjoyed the feeling that he was, for once, lecturing his father as opposed to the opposite. "Tamaki and the others were enjoying themselves thanks to the atmosphere, and behaved in a way that put the customers in a good mood and encouraged more to return the next day we held club activities. Helping him succeed within his family should have similar effects. Another benefit of my decision was that my allotted study time could be used to focus on the Host Club."

"Why such an obsession with this frivolous hobby?"

Because the Otori family would never be "his legacy". The Host Club could be. Because he wanted the Host Club to remain a part of Ouran, and he wanted it to be well known that he was behind its success. Because if anything happened to that "frivolous hobby", his friends would be devastated.

"The club will fall apart once I'm gone if I don't do my best now."

"That's idiotic." Yoshio spat, clearly debating whether or not he should strike his son, whether the servants were watching or not. Then again, one of those servants was making it very obvious that he _was_ watching, and Tachibana wouldn't allow even him to harm his charge. "Why bother with such an eccentric thing?"

"Why?...Ah," Suddenly Kyoya smiled, a genuine smile that took the older man by surprise. "That would be for "emotional profit"."

The majority of Kyoya's half-year break was spent, less reluctantly than usual, in company of the host club at a variety of ridiculous tourist traps throughout Japan. He might have resented being asked to waste his time so often if he hadn't used the chances to grill Haruhi in the management of the host-club.

"Kyoya-senpai, why are you teaching me these things and not Tamaki?" Haruhi wondered. It was the first day of the second term, and her first chance to really assist in the running of the club.

"There are multiple reasons for that." Kyoya explained without glancing up from his work. "One being that Tamaki is too eccentric- he has no mind for budget. The second is that you will be here for another three years and can continue the Club. And lastly, you want to get as much experience dealing with people as possible so you can succeed as a lawyer, correct? Well, this might help."

"A-ah…right. But…" She hesitated for a moment, frowning at the list of expenses he was going over. "I have no idea what rich people like."

"Well, then this will help you learn." He replied brightly, amused by her obvious discomfort. "It's time to greet the customers, your costume is already waiting for you, so hurry and change."

Understandably the idea did not seem to appeal to her, though Kyoya had no sympathy for her annoyance. Today's theme-Ancient Rome of all things- had been unpopular with everyone but Tamaki, who had suggested it. Still, the outfits, though expensive, were bound to appeal to the romanticized notions held by Ouran's students. The twins in particular would be in their element.

"Ah, the parts of Romulus and Remus are perfect for you!" Once the girls arrived Kyoya's suspicion was immediately proven by their constant squealing and star-struck expressions. "The two brothers raised by a wolf who eventually founded Rome, right?"

Hikaru, decked in a fur-trimmed tunic, grinned. "Correct! They had no company other than each other, but I'd be fine with Kaoru. Even if I have to live among wolves it's bearable if we're together."

"Hikaru…" Kaoru stared up at his twin with an expression so sickly sweet it was remarkable that none of the fangirls saw through it. "But, in the legend, Romulus killed his brother…"

"I would take my own life before yours, Kaoru!"

"Ah, Hikaru…"

Kyoya shook his head and turned his attention away from the twins as their audience burst into another round of "kyaa"ing. Not far away a few girls stood watching him, first years looking very nervous in the unusual atmosphere. No doubt his warrior's garb was doing little to relax them.

"K-Kyoya-senpai… Um… everyone looks so cool in their cosplays…" The boldest of them whispered, as her friends cheered her on rather obviously.

_How childish._ "I'm glad you think so. I'll be uploading pictures on our website tonight, so be sure to check if you want to pre-order the album." He smiled welcomingly, making a mental note of their shyness. Better keep them away from Tamaki and the twins until they were more comfortable. "In the mean time, would you like anything?"

The girl blushed beet red, shaking her head and then nodding before shaking her head once more. He sighed inwardly and smiled again, "Take a seat, let me bring you some tea."

"Th-th-thank you." The girl exclaimed, turning even redder still as her friends giggled anxiously in the background.

"Of course, I'll be right-" Kyoya broke off, his stomach churning with nausea. "Be right back…"

He winced, hand flying to his mouth in a vain attempt to suppress the urge to vomit. The girl spoke, asking him what was wrong, but he ignored her. _Got to get out of here._ He staggered past the girl, wanting to get away before he was sick, but only managed a few steps before falling to his knees and throwing up into one of the club's potted plants. The girl was shouting for one of the other members, and somebody was already at his side. He attempted to stand to find out who and almost immediately collapsed from a sharp pain in his abdomen, his head hitting the tiled floor with a dizzying force.

"Kyoya!" Tamaki shouted, his footsteps echoing as he crossed the room. A few seconds later he had joined the other-Haruhi, he saw now- at his friend's side, the two hosts appearing as little more than blurs. "Kyoya, are you all right?"

It was just one word, why was it so hard to respond? "No." He had meant to sound harsh or annoyed, but was mortified to hear a weak, shaken whisper.

"Th-the hospital, we'll- Mori-senpai! Call-"

"No!" Kyoya gasped from the pain of speaking firmly, the pain that wasn't going away. "They can't... do anything." Tamaki and Haruhi were falling out of focus, and the gathering girls behind them were little more than a yellow blur. _Stay awake dammit. Take me home, not the hospital._ "Home", however, was all he managed to say. _Don't faint, not here._ Someone, probably Takashi, was picking him up. He tried to protest, but he couldn't even move, his stomach hurt so badly. _They'll all know now._ Everything was fading, and all he could see was black.

**A.N.: **_Not entirely sure what to say here. I wasn't too happy with this chapter-I had some more things I'd like to have added, but they didn't really fit in well and I couldn't think of a way to include them. Ah well, one more chapter to go! Reviews are always welcome!:)_


	4. Revelation

**A.N.:** _Once again, hello everybody and welcome to another installment of my first Ouran fanfiction! It's a lot more fun writing this than I thought it would be, and I have to say that I love you guys for the reviews. I melt a little bit each time I read one of those. ^^ Anyway, enough sappiness on my part, on with the show!_

**Disclaimer:** _I still don't own the Ouran High School Host Club, no matter how many times I've asked Santa to bring it to me._

Kyoya awoke with a violent headache in his room just past dawn the next day, with Tachibana and Tamaki staring down at him expectantly. Startled, he sat straight up and nearly crashed his head against the blond boy's nose. Luckily his friend had moved at the same time, hugging the surly bodyguard with exaggerated relief.

"He's awake!" He exclaimed, as if this weren't obvious, before turning back to the dark haired boy. "You should stay home from school today, Kyo-kun."

Kyoya rubbed his eyes, searching blindly for his glasses with one hand. "Why should I do that? Tachibana, prepare my uniform, I'll only make things worse if I'm absent after what happened yesterday."

The bald man didn't move, expression unreadable behind his sunglasses. "Master Kyoya, the nurses at your family's hospital were interviewed last night."

Damn. "Show me," he demanded, silently cursing whatever fate had caused him to collapse in the middle of a club meeting.

His two most doting (often overly so) companions glanced at each other uncertainly before Tamaki reluctantly pulled a newspaper out of his back pocket and handed it over to Kyoya. Both of them were looking as if they expected him to panic when he saw the article, and it was partially for this reason that the young man kept his expression completely neutral as he read.

After a few pages of searching he spotted a picture of his family in the entrance of their house, followed by a few paragraphs of text which briefly detailed his illness before going on to remind readers of all the Otori family's accomplishments. It could have been much worse, but even so there was one sentence he knew would wreck his remaining time at Ouran:

"Pancreatic cancer, a disease rarely found in children Otori's age, is almost always fatal, with a median survival rate of 6 months."

It would have been difficult not to lose his temper at school over the next few weeks if not for the support of the host club. The twins in particular had no patience for falsely-sympathetic peers, leaky-eyed fangirls or poorly concealed acts of pity. They had more than a few rude comments for any of these offenses, and were so harsh with a young woman that had told Kyoya she would "keep him in her prayers and protect him with her love" that they sent her away in tears.

When he had reprimanded them, (albeit not as sternly as he probably should have) for tarnishing the host club's reputation they merely replied, "We hate selfish people like that", and went on as they pleased.

Not that the host club was in danger of anything more than potentially overflowing at the moment. It was amazing how many teenage girls were absolutely fascinated by the complex of a "dark and mysterious man" with a "tragic secret"- or at least that's how Renge put it. Often male classmates came to the club as well to take advantage of an atmosphere where their "friend" couldn't avoid them, which was a tad bit frightening to say the least. Unfortunately, neither of these numbers dwindled when the boy in question made it clear he would not be entertaining guests.

Not that Kyoya minded. He could put up with his peers so long as he needn't speak with them, and the host club was making a considerable profit out of their eccentricity. That day alone they had made more money than they sometimes earned in a week. He assumed that people were buying so much of their amateur merchandise as some bizarre way of making him feel better, and he had no intention of correcting them.

"Kyoya-kun…?"

The voice was definitely feminine, and as Haruhi was the only woman in the Host Club Kyoya looked up from his clipboard fully intending to tell whomever had approached him to let him be. He merely sighed, however, and placed the board on the table he'd been leaning against upon seeing Renge watching him and looking almost hesitant. Such reservation-well, reservation at all, really- was unusual behavior for the French girl, but "usual" could hardly apply to anything in his life at the moment.

"Hello, Renge." Kyoya greeted, keeping his annoyance out of his voice with a little more difficulty than usual. "Can I help you with something?"

She shook her head firmly, watching him with a look that could have been of either determination or fear-a difference he'd of thought was obvious until then. "I just wanted to know something. I'm… I'm part of the Host Club too, right? Then why didn't you tell me you were sick sooner?"

He was becoming very tired of answering this question- could none of his classmates understand that his life had nothing to do with them? "For one thing, you are not part of this club, you've merely appointed yourself as our manager and done very little I would consider work." The dark haired boy retorted with his usual humorless smile. "And I wanted to keep that to myself. Weren't you the one so enchanted by my "mystery", as it were?"

"No, that's all wrong!" Renge protested, shaking her head furiously with her hands clenched and pressed to her chest as she always did when she was upset. "You're supposed to tell me, so we can be together…"

_What a selfish girl._ "I would have kept this from even Tamaki if I'd had the choice." Kyoya assured in place of this insult, knowing she would assume the statement was meant to console her.

"But I'm different!" She insisted, looking up at him like he was one of her infuriating video game characters. "I love you, Kyoya-kun!"

"No, you don't." He retorted, resisting the urge to smirk at her taken-aback expression. "You're wishing you were, for a better memory of me I suppose." _Or so you have an excuse to act like one of your melo-dramatic characters._

Renge recovered quickly, a trait of hers that he suspected would, unfortunately, never change. "But I do! I'll prove it, you can come-"

"I'm afraid I'm rather busy at the moment, Renge. Perhaps another time." Interrupted the bespectacled boy before picking up his clipboard and turning back to his work. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to finish this before tomorrow."

She seemed disappointed when she walked away, which she did only reluctantly. Kyoya had no sympathy for her though. If he'd stated his real feelings the results would have been far worse- he simply had no desire to waste whatever time he had left with her fantasies.

Though a grown woman's, it seemed, were no better.

The Otori family was entertaining an important business partner and his wife, and Yoshio had demanded that every one of his children be there. ("It's a family-oriented business, we want to endear ourselves to them.") Tamaki had been over as Kyoya's guest in the afternoon, and the business-man's doting wife had begged he be allowed to stay for dinner, insisting that she simply _had_ to meet the youngest Suoh. The young blond was allowed to stay, if only because he was so good at putting the easily-charmed woman in a pleasant mood. Kyoya was relieved, believing he could hardly come up in conversation with his eccentric friend around.

Which might have been true if the women weren't so damn _motherly_.

She, like every brat at Ouran, seemed to think it was her official duty to console him about his illness whether he wanted her to or not. And he most certainly did _not_ want to listen to some middle-aged woman who dressed like a teenage pre-Madonna coddle him for an hour. She seemed to think that because he was dying he would appreciate being spoken to like an infant.

"Don't worry dear, my husband's research team is wonderful. I'm sure we'll find some way to help you." She assured with a sickly sweet smile, turning to look sadly at her husband (did she think he couldn't see her?) as if to say "well? You lie too!"

Kyoya was unsure how to react to this, so he took a long drink of water to avoid responding. The woman's husband was looking at him apologetically, his father and brothers were looking fearful-as if they expected him to say something that would ruin relationships between the companies- and Fuyumi seemed to be smothering an urge to laugh. Even Tamaki looked perplexed, clearly uncertain about how to respond in such an awkward situation.

The woman was beaming at him expectantly, and the dark haired boy could feel his father's glare warning him to put up with her eccentricities. "I thank you for your… concern, but I've decided not to accept treatment." He smiled in what he supposed was a grateful way. _Such an idiot. How lucky for her that she married into a rich family._

"Oh, what a brave boy." God, it was like she was talking to a five year old. "You all must be so proud of him."

Kyoya could have laughed at the looks on his family's faces- even Fuyumi was at a loss for words, though she recovered more quickly than the others. "I've always been proud of Kyo-kun."

He shot her an annoyed look for the melodramatic comment and she grinned briefly in return. Tamaki, apparently oblivious that she had been joking, nodded his consent. "I'm proud of Mother too-ow!"

The blond boy whimpered, reaching under the table to massage the shin Kyoya had just kicked. "Ah, Mother's just a nickname Tamaki's given me." The Shadow King explained brightly, digging his heel into Tamaki's foot while smiling sweetly. "We run a club at our school, and he considers us a family."

The wife began to say something once more, but her husband jumped in quickly to attempt to salvage the situation. "Well, speaking of family… This must be very hard on you too, Yoshio-san."

Kyoya knew better than to even glance at his father, merely feigning interest in his meal. There was a brief pause before Yoshio replied, without an ounce of outward feeling, "Kyouya was never intended to the Otori's heir, our company will survive with just his brothers."

Even his brothers were taken aback by the comment, whereas the others looked simply stunned. "Father, that-" Akito began, glancing anxiously not at Kyoya but at the flabbergasted businessman and his wife-the former whom was looking disgusted by the comment and the latter merely befuddled.

A loud scraping sound cut him off- Kyoya had gotten to his feet. Without a word he grabbed Tamaki by the upper arm and dragged his friend out of the room, slamming the door behind them as the diners stared in shock at their backs.

"Kyoya, what are you doing?" The blond boy pulled his arm free and almost immediately moved back towards the door, only to find his friend was blocking his way.

"You're angry. I can't have you saying anything to my father, whether you mean to or not." He explained calmly, seeing by his surprised reaction that Tamaki had no idea how furious he'd appeared.

The French boy blushed, as embarrassed as he ever was to lose his temper. "Are you all right, Kyo-kun?"

_No._ "…Would you like to stay over tonight, Tamaki?" In a way Kyoya supposed he was saying the same thing, he rarely made such an invitation without reason.

Thankfully Tamaki recognized this, or maybe he was just bipolar, but either way he beamed like a little kid in a candy shop. "Kyo-kun wants me to stay~"

Kyoya grabbed his friend by the shoulder to stop the happy spinning the boy had taken up. "Keep being an idiot and I'll ask you to leave. Go find a maid, ask her to find you something to wear then wait for me upstairs."

A feeble excuse to be rid of him, and they both knew it. How many times had the blond boy stayed there? He had an over-night kit ready and waiting for him, but even so he bounded off with typical cheer to find a servant who could help him while the other boy calmed down. Kyoya sighed at his behavior and leaned back against the wall to wait.

Not two minutes later Fuyumi came out of the dining room and tackle-hugged him so suddenly he nearly fell over. He shouted in surprise and pushed her aside, hurrying to fix his glasses- which had nearly fallen off. His sister seemed entirely unabashed, merely hugging him once more-now around the neck, so that he was nearly choking- and sighing dramatically.

"Oh Kyo-kun, why do you let father be so cruel?" She wondered, swooning theatrically, which at least made it possible to pry her other arm away from his neck.

"Father doesn't say things like that to be cruel, Fuyumi." He protested, though he wasn't so sure. Hadn't Yoshio spoken harshly only after Kyoya had mentioned the host club he hated so much?

The girl stopped mid-swoon, hand falling back to her side in a dejected sort of way. "Maybe he doesn't, but that doesn't change anything. Where's Tama-kun gone to?"

"He's looking for clothes, he's staying the night."

"Good, you need that." She smiled up at him, and he felt a rare surge of affection for his sister. Though she was almost as ridiculous as Tamaki she nevertheless cared for him, and sometimes made a rather obvious show of it. "I'll call my husband, I'm staying over too. I want to talk to father."

"Don't. You'll only make him angry with you. I can deal with a few harsh comments."

"Well I can't." She retorted, daring him to protest with an unusually fierce look. "And neither can you, or you wouldn't have sent Tamaki off."

Fuyumi pulled him in for a hug again, a real one that Kyoya didn't pull away from. "You're not all right, are you?"

"…I'll manage."

"You hardly ate anything. Even the servants have noticed you getting thinner, Tachibana was worried about you."

Kyoya sighed, wondering why on earth his bodyguard was talking with his sister. "Unfortunately it hurts to eat sometimes, Fuyumi… I'll try though." He conceded, judging by the look on her face that she wasn't about to give up.

"Good. I should get back-things are falling apart in there." The dark haired girl sighed and gave him a quick-and extremely embarrassing- kiss on the cheek. "I love you, Kyo-kun."

"I love you too. And don't do that."

"Aw, you always used to ask for a kiss goodnight when you were little."

"I don't remember that- I must have blocked out the memories."

Fuyumi laughed, one of the only things that could cause Kyoya to really smile anymore. "Goodbye, little brother." She waved once more in her usual chipper way before re-entering the dining room.

"Goodbye, Fuyumi."

The smile vanished from his face almost immediately. He leaned back against the wall once more and closed his eyes, breathing deeply. He'd had an almost constant ache in his abdomen ever since he had collapsed during the club meeting, and to his annoyance he was feeling almost constantly depressed. Being around his sister hardly helped, only made it harder not to lose control of his emotions and begin crying in the middle of the entrance hall. He hated to cry, hadn't since the night he'd been diagnosed with this disease. He knew he was stronger than that, and he knew Fuyumi would be there in the morning.

So why had his goodbye seemed so goddamn final?

Kyoya stayed like that until he heard chairs scraping in the other room. Not wanting to see his father right now, and knowing he'd neglected Tamaki for too long, he stood up straight and hurried into the other room. He considered questioning a maid regarding his friend's whereabouts, but after only a moment's thought he decided against it.

"What's this one from?"

Just as he'd thought, Tamaki had been in the living room admiring their new piano and didn't so much as flinch as his friend approached. It was amazing that the smallest things could startle him at the best of times, but he was completely serene when playing the piano.

"The main theme of a Japanese T.V. show my dad showed me once." He explained happily, no doubt ready to start a rant about how great the show was and how they should look it up to watch online.

Kyoya wasn't in the mood for refusing him today, better not to let him make the request at all. "It's good. Keep playing that one."

Surprised-Kyoya almost never encouraged him to play- Tamaki faltered for a moment before beaming. "Of course!" And the music started up again.

For hours the Shadow King sat listening to his friend play: classical music, theme songs, tunes from musicals, nursery rhymes… He seemed to have no order in mind, merely playing whatever he wanted once one song was finished. _He really is good._ Kyoya conceded as Tamaki began a rather complicated Chopin piece. _I'll tell him… one of these days._ But right now he was too busy listening, closing his eyes and absorbing the music so that when the two finally went to sleep the song was still playing through his mind.

Tamaki woke up at 4 in the morning, so suddenly he might have been splashed with ice water.

Something felt wrong.

Kyoya's room was quiet, nothing more noise than the near-silent humming of the fish tank's water heater to have woken him up. So why had he? He'd always been an early riser, but this was just ridiculous. Maybe he'd just had a nightmare, forgotten it when he woke up-that happened to him every once in awhile and he usually just fell back asleep right away. But not this time.

"Mommy, are you awake?" Tamaki whispered at last, wondering if maybe the other boy had woken him. But no, Kyoya was still fast asleep on his bed. The blond boy sat up and pulled himself and the futon he was sleeping on closer, nudging his friend's shoulder slightly. "Kyo-kun, wake up."

No response. The boy always slept like a rock, but even so Tamaki scrambled to his feet and shook him gently, then more roughly when there was no response. "Kyoya? Kyoya!" It took a conscious effort to swallow-it felt like his heart had skipped to his throat- and breath, remember to breath. Calm down, he's a heavy sleeper, it's never this easy to wake him up. Even so he listened for the absent sound of another's breathing, pressed his ear against the other boy's chest for the drumming of a heartbeat. Nothing but his own hyperventilating. He fumbled to feel for a pulse- maybe the wrist wasn't strong enough, better check the neck too… Nothing.

He was shaking too much, that must be it- if he was too numb to feel his own phone as he ran to pick it up how could he feel a pulse? He dialed a number blindly, pressing the device hard against his ear as if listening more intently would make the ringing stop more quickly, make _someone answer._

"Tamaki-senpai…?" Haruhi sounded exhausted, and more than a little frustrated. "Why are you calling me so late? You almost woke up Dad."

"I-it's K-Kyoya." Tamaki sobbed. _What's the point? There's nothing she can do for him now._ He shoved the thought aside, terrified that he had even had it. "H-he… He's-"

"Where are you right now?" She demanded, all traces of sleep gone from her voice. He told her, found it was immensely difficult through the tears that wouldn't stop. "I'll call the others."

Was it his imagination or was her voice shaking too? Either way she had hung up without another word, so no way of finding out. Tamaki shoved the phone aside then ran back to his friend's side, determined to wake him up before the others got here.

After Haruhi called the Hitaachin brothers it only took twenty minutes for their car to speed through town to pick her up, and another ten to bring the trio to the Otori household, where Mori was already explaining what he could to a very sleepy butler, Hunni sniffing back tears and hugging Usa-chan to his chest. Hikaru and Kaoru didn't give the servant so much as a second glance, shouldering their way past him and charging up the stairs with the rest of the Host Club only seconds behind.

They must have woken up the entire household, but courtesy was the last thing on any of their minds. For some reason they had to get to their friends as quickly as possible, to prevent what they knew had already occurred.

But all that met them at the end was the sight of Tamaki- sobbing into the still chest of their fallen Shadow King.

**A.N.:**_ So, yeah, you all probably hate me right now._

_I have a few comments before I defend the way I ended this-the biggest being that Renge wasn't in the original draft. I don't know why I added her either, except that I thought that scene would be fun to write, and it was. The second is that it's really up to you whether Yoshio meant what he said or not- either way, I wrote this thinking that if any of his children really were diagnosed with cancer he wouldn't really comprehend it for awhile. He's not a person run by emotion, and his mind would be focused on the "business" he had to settle, or at least I thought so. I might do a sort-of follow up to this that will explain more about Yoshio's behavior…. _

_Anyway, on to my main point. That last scene is why I wrote this entire fanfiction-because one day I was sick with infection and alone at home, so I called my friend and asked her to stay with me. She agreed, jokingly asking me not to die in my sleep while she was there, because that would freak her out. Well, it made me think about how horrible that would be… and that's what I hope all of you thought about too. It's not a good feeling, huh? Thanks again for all the reviews-I love you guys to death for those._


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